Everyone has a need to feel powerful or influential. In other words, everyone wants to feel like they have some control over their circumstances.
When my children were younger, their school offered chess as an after school activity. I had heard that the thought process involved with the strategy of chess helped children with the development of math skills, so I wanted my kids to have that advantage. My daughter was willing, but my son was adamant that he really didn’t want to. It just wasn’t his thing. I guess I could have forced him, but I didn’t.
Kids want to have some power to influence their circumstances, and teens will continue to want more and more. If their need for power isn’t being met, you will find yourself dealing with power struggles.
One question that you can ask yourself is, how can I give my child more power or control in an appropriate way? For example, if you are power struggling over chores, you might let you child decide what time he will get them done. Is there anything about the situation that can easily be placed in your teens control instead of yours? Try it out and let me know how it goes.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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