Yesterday we set up a small demonstration to illustrate the dynamics of a power struggle. Just for fun, find someone nearby and ask them to join hands with you and engage in a small tug of war. Nothing crazy now. Just one person pull, and the other resist the pull.
I want you to notice Three things:
Dynamic # 1) There is energy in it. You can feel the energy of your own resistance. If you are playing tug of war with a partner, you can feel the energy of your own and your partner’s resistance.
Dynamic # 2) That energy has an element of Joy in it. If two of you are playing tug of war right now, I am quite sure you are both laughing and smiling. Yes, what I just asked you to do was kind of silly, but there is more to it than that. It’s called the JOY OF OPPOSING. The energy of opposing is high energy and fun. This is an important reason why power struggles are so seductive. Even as adults we get sucked into them because at some level they are high energy and fun, and we just can’t help ourselves!!
Tomorrow I will disclose Dynamic # 3.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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