Is This a Power Struggle?

Dear Parents,

Yesterday we went through an example of a Power struggle that remained pretty friendly.  Let's look at another example that goes differently.

Bill is supposed to take out the trash by 9:00 each night.  It’s 9:15 and he’s watching TV and the trash is sitting there.  Mom getting angry.  Mom goes into Bills room and says, "Bill, it’s 9:15, the trash is still sitting there. I’ve told you a hundred times.  Why can’t you just do what you’re supposed to do around here?" 

Bill says in an agitated tone “In a minute Mom.  I’m watching this show”. 

Also in an agitated tone, Mom starts to explain that  Bill should do it now because he agreed to do it by 9:00 and it’s already 9:15.

Now this really annoys Bill because he’s trying to watch his show, so he gets really angry and yells at Mom.  Mom yells back.  In a rage he stomps out to take out, slams the door, and slams the chair into the table to demonstrate his anger.  He takes out the trash, storms back in and yells “happy now?” as he storms back into his room.

Now he took out the trash which is what you wanted, but you’re still not happy.

Is this a power struggle?  Well, it started out as one, but it escalated to revenge.  At some point, Bill felt hurt and wanted to hurt back.  He did so by yelling at Mom, slamming the door and the chair.  


There are different tools and strategies for redirecting each type of misbehavior.  What works for Power struggles probably won't work for Revenge, and vice versa.


I am here to help.  Please feel free to e-mail me at Jane@TheParentSuccessCoach.com.


To Your Family,


Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com


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