The need to feel loved is extremely important. When relations are strained with our kids, and communication is critical and angry, they can begin to question whether they are loved.
To complicate matters, circumstances can occur that pull our attention away from our kids for a time. This can include working to make ends meet, loss of a job, divorce, addictions, accidents, illness, death in the family, or many other factors. While parents may just be struggling to keep up, it’s easy to see how teens might feel isolated and begin to question whether they are loved.
Let’s say Ann is engaging in behaviors that are not acceptable to her Mom. It’s important for Mom to clearly communicate that the behavior is not acceptable, but that she still loves Ann. This helps Ann to maintain a clear sense that she is not her behavior, and she can choose to behave differently. Having the strong sense of love from an adult actually makes it easier for her to make a different behavior choice.
Especially during the tough times when your attention is distracted, even small gestures to remind them of your loving connection can make all the difference in how they feel about themselves, and how they feel anchored in the safety of your connection.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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