Dear Parents,
When children are babies, we must do everything for them. As they grow, they need to start doing more for themselves.
Many of us have enjoyed helping our children with homework and school projects. As they become teens, however, we might find ourselves carrying the burden that school work is our responsibility.
We are constantly after them to make sure that they get it done. We get tired of hearing ourselves nag, so we can imagine that our teens get annoyed with it too.
When we back off, nothing gets done, so what is a parent to do?
Let them fail.
Yes, you read that correctly. Let them experience suffering the consequences for their actions, and let them handle it on their own. The best time to do this is in middle school. If they can get the message that they have to carry their own weight in middle school, the high school experience will be much easier to handle. They will develop the skills and strength to be successful in navigating the college process and beyond.
How do you do this? Don’t nag. In a friendly way you can ask them “how are you coming along on your paper?”, and leave it at that. In the end, it is their responsibility to get it done, not yours.
From the standpoint of communication, you will find yourself far less stressed when you are not holding responsibility for that which is not your responsibility. Your children will enjoy not being nagged.
And although they may not seem to care in the beginning, most children really do want to do well, and when they realize that Mom or Dad isn’t going to do it for them, they will usually step up to the plate and get it done, and ultimately feel more empowered by their own ability.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
Providing Guidance to Create Harmony and Loving Family Connections
Get My Free Report:
No comments:
Post a Comment