4 Tips for Better Communication With Your Teens

Dear Parents,

Listening is the most important part of communication.  Another way to improve your listening skills is to:
 

• Stop what you are doing – Conversations don’t always happen at convenient times. But, if you are reading the paper or watching a television show, put it down or turn off the set for a few moments and give them your undivided attention.

I was teaching a class several years ago.  One of the Moms had two sons, 16 and 20.  She was enjoying participating in the class, but had the attitude that it was too late for her to implement anything new with her sons.  I did a role play that involved this concept, stopping what you are doing and giving your child your undivided attention.  The next week, she came back to class, and very humbly told me what happened.

She said " I was on the phone with a friend, and my 16 year old came running down the stairs to tell me something.  This has happened pretty regularly for the past 16 years, for some reason he always wants may attention when I am on the phone.  I normally would yell at him for interrupting me and tell him to go away.  For the first time in 16 years, I told my friend I'd call her back.  I hung up the phone and just listened.  He told me what he had to say, then happily went back upstairs.  I didn't see him for the next two hours.  The whole "interruption" lasted about 5 minutes.  I am feeling a little bit sad that it never occurred to me to just listen, that was all he wanted.".

What a great story of how such a little thing can make a big difference in a relationship.  She was able to be attentive to her son, rather than annoyed.  What a different feeling for both of them.  And a great reminder that it's never to late to try something new.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

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