In her highly informative book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", Patricia Evans talks about various categories of communication that establishes a tone of "Power Over". Today we will look in more detail at withholding.
Withholding is when a person refuses to communicate, keeping their thoughts and feelings to oneself, revealing as little as possible, and maintaining an attitude of indifference. Does your teen withhold, not engaging in any meaningful conversation with you to enable you to have a relationship? If so, I ask that you check in and give an honest assessment. Has your communication to your teen been critical or demeaning? Have you discounted our trivialized what your teen has had to say because they are only a child? When children feel that their communication has been shut down, they will have the tendency to withhold. And their withholding can be both a protection for them, and a revenge against you.
Are you withholding communication from your teen? If so, why? Have you also felt shut down, criticized or trivialized? If so, I strongly recommend that you read some of the great work by Patricia Evans. Her work will help you to understand the controlling personality, and some highly effective ways to respond to this hurtful and inappropriate communication.
Here at the Parent Success Coach, we believe strongly in our unique Inside/Out Parenting Approach™ where all change first comes from within. We believe that parents are the ones who are in the best position to make lasting positive influences on their children.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
No comments:
Post a Comment