What kinds of kids get into revenge cycles? Basically, it is kids who are feeling overpowered. A person who is being overpowered feels powerless. Everyone wants to feel that they have some power, some influence over their circumstances. When a person feels continually overpowered, they feel powerless, helpless and hopeless.
Being overpowered also leaves a person feeling angry and hurt. And the inability to get themselves out of the situation only makes them feel more angry and hurt. After a while, they are going to want to release some of that anger and pain, and they will want to hurt back.
Sometimes kids will hurt back overtly by yelling, slamming doors or other outward demonstrations of their anger. However, if they are being overpowered, they might not be able to express themselves so openly, and will find more covert ways to act out their revenge. This could include things like failing at school, drug or alcohol abuse, getting pregnant, or bullying other people.
I will be talking about ways to break the cycle of revenge and re-establish your relationship with your teen in my Free Teleseminar "Revenge - Breaking The Cycle" on Tuesday October 25th. Click here to register.
Registration is at the very bottom of the page, just supply your first name and e-mail address.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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