Dear Parents,
Continuing from yesterday's story...
When she picked him up from the airport, the Mom in her took over, she was happy to see him, fussed over how tall, and handsome he had become and their initial re-union went OK.
Once he settled in, though, he was still pretty angry, and she was on edge. He would make this noise when she came near him, she described it as a growl. It was just this awful noise that he would make to show his disgust with her. It was horrible, she felt like a trapped animal in her own home.
Katy enrolled in the coaching program. She was still angry and hurt and it was sometimes difficult for her to integrate some of the concepts. However, there was one concept that I taught that made sense to Katy. Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, gives this example of comparing relationships to bank accounts. If you take out more money than you put in, you go bankrupt. Think of your relationship in terms of an emotional bank account. When you yell, criticize, complain, you are taking out of the account. When you spend time, give hugs, show affection, show love, you are making deposits. The trick to a good relationship is to make more deposits than withdrawls.
This concept stuck with Katy. She would say each day – OK, I have to make a deposit. What can I do to make a deposit. Tomorrow I will tell you what she actually did – what one of her earlier deposits looked like.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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