Friday, October 7, 2011

What is Revenge?

Dear Parents,

When power struggles continue and build, it results in feeling angry and hurt.  So let’s say for example Dad and Bill are arguing over the trash.  Dad is furious that he is being disrespected and yells Bill.  Bill is hurt and yells something really insulting to Dad.  Now Dad is really furious and implements a punishment.  Bill backs down, but in a couple of days, he purposefully refuses to take out the trash again, just to demonstrate his defiance.

This is the dynamic of revenge. As a parent, you will feel hurt and will want to hurt back.  You will feel angry, and will question “how could you do this to me” or “How dare you”?  Your child will also feel angry and hurt and will want to get even.  As you can see, it goes round and round, and this is how revenge becomes a cycle.  Emotions run high, and it is very difficult to break the cycle. 

This is another important dynamic to understand in the teen years, and as a result I am dedicating an hour to this one in two weeks, on Tuesday, October 25th, in my teleseminar "Thriving Through the Teen Years".

A quick tip for how to handle as a parent – Don’t hurt back.  This is the first step in breaking the cycle.  This might feel like you are letting them get away with it.  Join me on the 25th and we will explore in more detail.

To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach

PS.. Register for the FREE Teleseminar by clicking here.
        Registration is at the very bottom of the page.

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