Friday, October 14, 2011

Step 2 to Break the Revenge Cycle

Dear Parents,
Step 2 Is to let them express the hurt.  This might not happen right away, you may need to take a day or two before you get to this step.  You will want to do it when you are calm and can keep your composure.

The technique you want to use is to let them empty out, and say everything about it that they want to say.  This can be very difficult.  Especially if the hurt is about you.  .  You can tell them that you are not going to respond right away.  Tell them that you want to take a little time to reflect upon what they have said.  This gives them the opportunity to express the hurt, without retaliation.  Being able to release all of those pent up feelings a lot of times goes a long way to allow for healing and reduce the revenge.

If they have said things that hurt you in this process, you may need to do some work yourself to keep from retaliating back, and thus starting the cycle again.  Again, this is where the help of a coach can be very valuable, because you can express your hurt and anger to the coach.  This way you can express your feelings without further hurting your child.

I am here to help, so don't hesitate to write to me at Jane@TheParentSuccessCoach.com.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach

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