Parents,
Are you getting into power struggles with your teens over getting them to do chores and the like? Especially in the summer, when the pace is much slower, it can be hard to get them moving. Things like taking out the trash, laundry, or summer reading can become a point of contention.
The first step is to make sure you have clear agreements. Communicate specifically what you expect them to do and by when, and check to make sure that you have their agreement. (This could be by having them repeat it back.) For example, 30 minutes of reading every day by 9:00pm. Or take out the trash on Monday and Friday evening by 8:00pm.
Then, on Monday at 8:05, when the trash isn't out, limit what you say to just one word. "Trash".
That's it. No yelling, no complaining, no arguing. Simple, elegant, and effective. Keeps you calm and collected. If they come back with comments like "In a minute" or other tactics, just repeat the one word. Hold to it. Keep your tone firm and kind.
Try it out, and let me know how it works for you.
To Your Family,
Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
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