Is College in your teen's future?

Dear Parents,

When your teen starts the college search process, they will start to identify what is most important to them.  Do they prefer a large or small school environment, do they prefer a campus style setting, an urban setting?  

Do the want a school spirit experience (football games and the like), Greek life, or are they looking for an experience that will provide internships, and get them out into the working world sooner.  

With so many options, visits to potential schools are really one of the best ways for students to understand their options and define their preferences.  Once they've honed in on some of their preferences, it's advised that they start to identify 3 types of options: Ideal school, stretch school & safety school.  The ideal school is one or two that they would really love to go to.  A stretch school is a good school that they would like to go to, but it would be a stretch for them to get into.  And the safety school is a school that based on their grades, SAT scores, and so forth, they feel comfortable that they could get into if the other options are not available.  It is recommended that they apply to several schools to give themselves options.

Generally students should start identifying potential schools over the summer before the Junior Year. This gives them enough time to start honing in on their options, and preferences to decide where they will apply.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera

The Parent Success Coach

www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get My Free Report At

www.SolutionsForParenting.com

Is College in your teen's future?

Dear Parents,

My daughter is in her first semester of college.  Having just gone through the whole process, I wanted to offer a few words of advice.   I want to start with the issue oft paying for college. 

Let’s say your student wants to get into some great school, and you are saying to yourself " I can’t afford it."  I want you to stop and take a deep breath.  Don’t kill off your students dream just yet.  The price that colleges put out is called the sticker price.  It is intended to freak you out, but don’t freak out just yet. 

 

Typically, college funding comes from about 5 different sources.  Parents contribution is only part of the puzzle.  Other funding typically comes from School awards, (funded by endowments)  federal and state grants, scholarships, and student contribution, and student loans. 

 

I would encourage you to encourage your student to pursue it, and see what they get offered. 

In the meantime, get yourself educated.  There are resources available to help you understand all of this.  If you look up the Greenes, they have some good video programs that will help you to make sense of it all.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera

The Parent Success Coach

www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get My Free Report At:

www.SolutionsForParenting.com 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Parents,

Wishing all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get My Free Report At:
www.SolutionsForParenting.com

5 Tips for Dealing with Teen Drama

Dear Parents,

Tip #5 – Know it’s not your job to fix it for them.

Although it is hard as a a parent when your child is facing emotional challenges, understand that it is part of the process of growing up.  Therefore, it's not your job to fix every hurt for them.  As a matter of fact, you are actually stifling their growth by taking on that responsibility.  It's like going into the gym and lifting the weight for your child.  They aren't getting any stronger.

By being there to listen, and acknowledge their feelings, you are helping them to process their own emotions.  Give them some space to try to come up with their own solutions, to tap into their own inner wisdom. That strength and ability will be far more useful to them as adults then expecting someone to come to their rescue all of the time.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera
The Parent Success Coach
www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get Your Free Report At:
www.SolutionsForParenting.com

5 Tips for Dealing with Teen Drama

Dear Parents,

Tip # 4 – Know that their emotions aren’t your emotions.

Yesterday I talked about letting your teen express their hurt, frustration, annoyance, etc.  

If you are overly involved in your child’s daily dramas, you may feel that their emotions are your emotions. 

Empathy isn’t feeling their feelings for them.  Empathy is being compassionate and understanding.  You don't have to become upset just because they are.  Taking on your kids emotions is confusing for them, and may actually encourage them to withdraw from you because they don't want to upset you.  It's bad enough that they are upset, they know that by coming to you they will have double the problem.

Tomorrow I will tell you what to do instead.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera

The Parent Success Coach

www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get Your Free Report At:

www.SolutionsForParenting.com

5 Tips for Dealing with Teen Drama

Dear Parents,

Tip # 3 – Allow them some space to express their  frustration, anger, hurt, annoyance, etc.

As parents, it is natural to feel that our job is to guide our children.  However, it is possible to be  too rigid, always lecturing and telling kids what they “should do” or what they “should feel”.  When they complain about their daily dramas are you always  trying to get them to listen to you, and accept your view of what they should do or how they should feel?  If so, you have set yourself up for a world of frustration at this time. 

 What they need most is an empathetic listening ear.  Someone who can hear and reflect back their experience. It's OK to just listen and say "Wow you sound upset"  or "Wow, that sounds frustrating". 

It is important that they have a safe place to express themselves and to know that they are loved.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera

The Parent Success Coach

www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get My Free Report At:

www.SolutionsForParenting.com

5 Tips for Dealing with Teen Drama

Dear Parents,

Tip # 2 – Distinguish between “upset” and “danger”.

You really want to have the lines of communication open with your child to get a sense of what is going on and the severity of it.  If your child is experiencing threats to their physical safety or if they are experiencing depression, then you definitely need to intervene, go to the school and seek help. 

According to HelpGuide.Org, depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:

• Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
• Unexplained aches and pains – Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism – Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
• Withdrawing from some, but not all people – While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

  Your primary job is always to keep your child safe to the best of your ability.  Bullying can be physical or emotional, and both can be harmful.  If you suspect your child is being bullied, do contact your school's administration to raise awareness and help seek solutions.

Tomorrow I will talk about dealing with drama that is not in the "danger" category.

To Your Family,

Jane Cabrera

The Parent Success Coach

www.TheParentSuccessCoach.com

Get My Free Report At:

www.SolutionsForParenting.com